cries in punk

tilthat:

TIL Nick Kroll’s dad, Jules B. Kroll, has a net worth of $1.5 billion, as the founder of Kroll, Inc. In 1972, Kroll, Inc was the largest risk consulting and corporate investigations firm. It was considered by many insiders to be the inventor of modern corporate investigation.

via reddit.com

showerthoughtsofficial:

Next year we will have an entire month of 420

(Source: reddit.com)

tinyplaidninjas:

alfred-e-neuman:

scesisonomaton:

bemusedlybespectacled:

geekandmisandry:

twenty-sixlipsticks:

geekandmisandry:

Just saw a doctor with the last name “Dang” and I was like “nice”.

Now I wonder if there are Englishy last names that mean something different in other languages.

Johnny Depp’s last name translates to douche in German

I don’t know if that’s true, but I believe it anyway.

dear god it’s true

It’s more like ‘idiot’ but these days ‘douchebag’ does feel more accurate

Well well well… 

If it ain’t Johnny Douchebag. 

Johnny Depp translates to douchbag in English too

(via the-greatish-gatsby)

libertypical:

glumshoe:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch men give you when they read you as male:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch men give you when they read you as female:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch your friends give you:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch I give people regardless of gender

(via vernonthewalrus)

d-exclamation:

brigwife:

brigwife:

I don’t know what it is about Star Wars but even if it’s not your biggest fandom, it still has the funniest memes by a long shot I mean “look at all the fucks i give anakin” and “your poncho is a piece of junk” and anakin hates sand it’s all just 1000% pure class

YOU CAN’T BEAT THIS SHIT

And my new favorite:

(via a-big-hetero-hello-to-you-all)

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

aridotdash:

sorrygodlol:

theunvanquishedzims:

Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they’re essentially starving afterwords. The more “controlled” werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the “wild” ones assume it’s part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever’s nearby.

The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they’re exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny’s in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half.

are you suggesting people who eat at denny’s are essentially werewolves

not just essentially 

fun fact i fucked a werewolf in a dennys bathroom

stop fucking asking me which dennys

(via confirmance)

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

aridotdash:

sorrygodlol:

theunvanquishedzims:

Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they’re essentially starving afterwords. The more “controlled” werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the “wild” ones assume it’s part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever’s nearby.

The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they’re exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny’s in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half.

are you suggesting people who eat at denny’s are essentially werewolves

not just essentially 

fun fact i fucked a werewolf in a dennys bathroom

stop fucking asking me which dennys

(via confirmance)

tilthat:

TIL Apple engineers code-named the Power Macintosh 7100 “Carl Sagan.” When Sagan sent a cease-and-desist letter, they changed it to “BHA” for “Butt-Head Astronomer.” Eventually a settlement was reached and Apple released an apology. Their final name for the project was “LAW”- “Lawyers Are Wimps”

via reddit.com

anoteinpink:

who among us has not wanted to stride down a big hallway in a fancy period gown yelling “fuck fuck fuck”

(via jessies-sidebitch)